


The Truth About the X-Files

by Sheogorath



Category: The X-Files
Genre: AR, Autistic Character, Gen, Parody, Pastiche, Real X-Files, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-16
Updated: 2014-10-16
Packaged: 2018-02-21 11:08:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2466059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheogorath/pseuds/Sheogorath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Fox Mulder discovers what the X-Files <i>really</i> are!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Truth About the X-Files

**Author's Note:**

> Rules of the Internet  
>  Rule 34(a): If it exists, there is fanfiction of it. No exceptions.  
>  Rule 35(a): If no fanfiction is found at the moment, it will be written.

# The Truth About the X-Files.

Walking into the classroom at Kenmore Middle School in Arlington, Mulder smiled somewhat hesitantly at the young seventh grader sitting at the only occupied desk, busily typing something on the laptop in front of him.

"Hi," Mulder began. "I'm Special Agent Mulder from the FBI. You're Jack Dalton?"

"I don't know you," the boy replied. The agent was not surprised by this, he had been informed of Jack's Autism. What did surprise him, however, was when the ten-year-old continued, "I feel like I should, though. There's something on the edge of my memory."

Curious, Mulder asked, "What are you typing?"

"Harry Potter fanfiction," Jack answered, turning the laptop around so Mulder could see for himself, then he shrugged. "I'm not really supposed to write it in school, but I figure since it's recess and all..."

Mulder nodded, then said, "I came to see you today because I believe you can help me in my investigation. Do you know what the X-Files are?"

Again typing busily on his laptop, Jack nodded. "They're the details of all unsolicited contact with the FBI from those acting in a private capacity."

"So they don't involve mysteries of any kind?"

Jack shook his head. "Oh, somebody does occasionally report a cattle mutilation or strange lights in the sky, but those generally have a mundane explanation. Strange lights in the sky could be weather balloons, floodlights, or even experimental aircraft. As for cattle mutilations, neighbourly feuds and arguments would most likely explain those."

"What about the surgical precision used during the mutilations?" Mulder argued.

Not looking up from his laptop, Jack responded, "Just because surgery isn't someone's profession, doesn't mean they can't learn it. What can be taught by another can easily be taught by oneself. For example, I taught myself how to correctly mount a horse from the text in a fiction book and taught myself quite a lot about copyright law using the Internet. In fact, people now often ask me what they need to know about copyright law because unlike an attorney, I don't charge for my advice."

"I... see," Mulder said, his mind working overtime. Then he continued, "Well, thanks for all your help."

"You're welcome," Jack replied. "Goodbye, Fox."

Completely forgetting about his investigation, Mulder left the school and returned to FBI headquarters to confront his boss, A.D. Walter Skinner, with what he had learned. It wasn't until after the ensuing meeting that he realised he had never told Jack Dalton his first name.

**Author's Note:**

> Copyright © 2014 Romersa’s Protégé. Individuals and groups are free to copy and share this work for all purposes except large scale distribution, subject to credit being given and any derivatives being released under the same or a similar licence. All other rights reserved.


End file.
